Compassion – Full View / Grey Area

Before I get into it, let’s make the subjects clear:

colorfulsquare Com·pas·sion
[kəmˈpaSHən]

NOUN
  1. sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others:
    “the victims should be treated with compassion”
    synonyms: pity · sympathy · empathy · fellow feeling · care · concern · solicitude · sensitivity · warmth· love · tenderness · mercy · leniency · tolerance · kindness · humanity · charity
colorfulsquare Thor·ough
[ˈTHərō]

ADJECTIVE
  1. complete with regard to every detail; not superficial or partial:
    “planners need a thorough understanding of the subject”
    synonyms: rigorous · in-depth · exhaustive · thoroughgoing · minute · detailed · close · meticulous · methodical · careful · complete · comprehensive · full · extensive · widespread · sweeping ·

     

colorfulsquare Grey a·re·a
[ɡrā ˈerēə]
NOUN
  1. An open range of “direction potential” small facts meeting between hard facts. Pivotable information.

synonyms
debatable · open to question

 


Have you noticed a big drop in compassion?
○ Why and how does this happen?
○ What is needed to have compassion?

Small societal changes slide slightly over time, unnoticed. Until one day, we look back and wonder “How did we get here?”. It adds up.

Compassion requires selflessness. It is sensible and responsible to look into a situation fully before judging – especially if it is serious. Maturity also allows one the ability to see what good could, or should have come, for that individual.


There is a disconnect between our fellow man, causing problems that otherwise wouldn’t be. Stress and heartache, worldwide. Our morale, for lack of a better word? Sucks. It only matters “to us”, when it happens “to us”.



The solution is to care for others as we’d like others to care for us if we were treated the same way.
Sad, when that is looked at negatively by grown men and women. Is it considered unnecessary, or soft to some. “I wouldn’t be in that situation.” Maybe not, but that doesn’t’ mean you wont be in one, where others could say the same.

We are different – we live different lives, have different obstacles and circumstances, sometimes from the get-go. If a person is “good”, trying to be, or has the potential to be (known through the details/homework) – why not show them compassion?

If one doesn’t want to do the homework? Simply back away from the subject. Not wanting to show compassion, doesn’t mean you have to do the opposite.

colorfulsquare What makes one constantly cold or cruel?
Selfishness. Immaturity. Laziness. Not wanting to “look” a certain way (eg. soft)

The inability to connect with people emotionally can have a serious affect on relationships (family, dating etc) If you meet with relationship difficulties often, or find people aren’t positive or very close with you, ask yourself if you’re giving enough consideration to draw others into a good place with you. To be “with” people, you have to be considerate of people.

It’s what we ask of our kids? Why let go of something so healthy and right.

Perception Vs. Reality: Judgement and Reactions

Let’s draw a few mental pictures. I’m going to write the appearance, as well as the view behind the subjects eyes. How does the view compare to reality? And what comes (or could come) of it?

Case (A)

Quiet, stares off often, exhibits snap anger when bothered. This teen, also happens to be an American, Muslim.

● How did you feel up to reading “Muslim”?
● What would you feel seeing his outward emotions?

Truth is, he just lost his Grandfather who’d been raising him; the only person he trusted. His pain is internal, he’s harmless. Sad, and angry, but harmless. He gets bullied by people who jump to conclusions, assuming he’s evil therefore – his outward appearance is tied to “evil” when blanketed by the assumption. Not seen in his reality: Hurt, scared, sad, angry, bullied. That’s what his heart and mind are filled with.

How do you think he’d react, if people treated him like any other person? With interest, and compassion? Long and short term, what positive things could come of living in reality?

Without Prejudice?


Case (B)

A lady in her 80s; She walks very slow, and has a miserable look on her face all the time.

She has years of aches, extreme physical pain, and lost friends under her belt. No one checks up on her. She feels ill and forgotten.

Do you ignore her? Become annoyed?

5 seconds to say Hello and smile. Maybe another 2 minutes to talk about the weather… that could make her day! I know from experience, sometimes older people are so upset that a Hello doesn’t work at first.. if you keep saying it every time you walk by, they eventually believe you mean it.

Sometimes older people have quite the life to share! Or are just plain sweet and thankful that someone is acknowledging them. If we all live to an old age, we could be them, feeling ill and forgotten.

Patience, and sharing a smile. It’s so simple, yet might be the bright spot in someone’s day! (Not just older people)


The following are presented a little differently. About the “Perception and Reality” of Insecurity.

Online everywhere, I see multiple ways Insecurity affects people:

It takes up their time. Even when no one has said anything to them, the defensiveness and desire to build their mask/character is apparent. They want to feel better. This attempt repeats so much that it, itself, unintentionally becomes their “online character”.

It can bring people down to continuously see, especially to those who’ve tried to help. To some – since the power to heal is only within the insecure person – they opt not to engage or read what that person has to say any longer.

They don’t hate, but can get mentally tired of seeing something sad that they can’t help with.

It can alter their reality. When their perception of others is seasoned by insecurity: What they feel they see, is real to them, but not necessarily reality

A busy friend can feel like rejection.
An acquaintance with a personality you don’t jive with, can feel like competition.
Old memories cast shadows on totally new relationships.

If you’re the type of person to act on your feelings, you may end up turning your worries into reality. When they weren’t the truth to begin with. Then of course, the reaction from others feeds your insecurity and beliefs more.


(Other perceptions)

Do you feel entitled, or better than others? 
If the tables were turned, you’d think it was wrong of someone to treat you badly without knowing you. Deep down, you know that is true of those you meet. Each individual is different. Each individual has gone through problems. Don’t assume. And if you wont communicate as effort to understand or help, just move on.

Have 100% of a “category” of people you’ve met, been horrible to you?
Have you met 100% of the planet? The paragraph just above also fits here.


Summary

Imagining. Guessing. Assuming. Predicting. All have high potential to create what isn’t there. Not to say, at times we aren’t correct, however more often than not – these choices bring along unnecessary stress or harm.

Interactions could go well. Energy could be spent on great things and on real problems. There could be more happiness in our lives.

 

 

Racism – Responses and Healing

Take two people of the same race.

One has been mistreated, disrespected, and possibly abused physically. Maybe they witnessed such acts, or even unnecessary deaths of his or her race.

You don’t just start treating both “equally” and expect things to be hunky dory. The mistreated person has healing to do. Maybe he or she feels anger. Sadness. Isn’t able to trust. They likely still witnesses/experiences disrespect of their race, even though others are treating them well.

This is why we don’t just “stop talking about Racism”. Or any other problem for that matter. It doesn’t go away like that. This is why we shouldn’t respond to anger, sadness or fear by giving up. It’s a process.

People are people, and when a person has been hurt.. they must heal. It takes time, and compassion. Proper conversation. Not everyone heals the same. Not everyone has been through the same abuse. Unfortunately not everyone wants to take time, nor have
compassion. And when they do talk? They only make things worse. Sad to think, that’s what some are going for. They are not “well”, either. Just in a different way.

It’s a complex world out there. Where you can be positive, please be it. Don’t give up on good change. Tomorrow isn’t written and epiphanies do happen.
 SigPNG-toleft